How?

How does one work to strengthen the virtue of humility?

I Want a Niche

1Thessalonians 4:11 "...and to aspire to live a tranquil life, to mind your own affairs, and to work with your [own] hands, as we instructed you."

That's fine and dandy and all, and what I know I should strive for. But there's a part of me, the prideful part, that wants my own niche that others know belong only to me--where others say, "That is Chris's thing." I want to be known for something.

With everything I think of that I might be known for, I think of someone else I know that is also known for that. I'm a runner, but so are many others I know. We raise chickens, but so do others I know. Dh makes wine, but so do others I know. We live our faith, but so do many others (thankfully) I know. On and on and bla bla bla.

I want, as this verse exhorts, to be able to know that I am fulfilling the duties God is giving me and faithfully living out to know Him, love Him, and serve Him and to be content in that. Only in that.

It is a lifelong battle to beat the prideful self into submission and back into the wings as it constantly tries to take the stage. It takes so much energy to keep my heart turned toward him and my eyes fixed on eternity when there is so much distraction nearby and immediate satisfaction to be obtained.

Yet I take hope in the fact that I really WANT to live for Him and only for Him. That is where my desire lies, no matter how often I need to reorient myself.

I love you, Lord. Help me to love you more.

One of the highlights of my day....

was finding this in my flower garden this morning:

Solitude

"Solitude is not found so much by looking outside the boundaries of your dwelling, as by staying within." -- Thomas Merton

Flowers From My Boy

Since he could walk, my second son has brought me flowers spontaneously. It warms my heart. Here are some wild phlox he brought me today:

For Monday, June 8

Outside my window...the rain is falling off of the roof onto the deck. It is cold. Isn't this supposed to be June?

I am thinking...about how nice it would be if softball were called on account of rain tonight and we could all stay hunkered in with nowhere we need to go and nothing we need to do.

I am thankful for...so many things, but especially right now a roof over our heads, a sleeping baby, and older boys who are playing quietly together without fighting.

From the learning rooms...We will homeschool our 6th grader this coming fall. I'm trying to decide where the easiest place is to put our schoolbooks. I'm thinking of using a little black metal shelf right off of the kitchen for our daily books. I'm trying to resist having to add any more shelving. We'll see how that goes since I just went through all of our books hoping to make more room. I cleared one shelf. Sigh. I received the planner today that I'm going to use. I'm chomping at the bit to start laying out the year.

From the kitchen...On the menu tonight is a simple dish, but loved by my family and warm for this cold, dreary day: Mix cut-up chorizo sausage, a can of black beans, a can of seasoned diced tomatoes, and a jumbalaya rice mix. I might throw in a loaf of bread, too.

I am wearing...a lightweight white 3/4 sleeve hoodie with a teal tank underneath, and very pale aqua fine-wale cords.

I am creating...a training schedule for the marathon my running buddies and I are going to run in September.

I am going...nowhere today! Yay!

I am reading...nothing at the moment. I need to make a trip soon to the library.

I am hearing...the rain outside of the patio door, and the muffled sounds of the computer game Jedi Night that my older boys are playing.

Around the house...This week I need to scrub my bathroom and pantry floors. I need to sweep and mop my mudroom, wash the loveseat slipcover, and wipe down the ceiling and walls of the upstairs bathroom.

One of my favorite things...is treating myself to an extra cup of creamy, hot coffee on a rainy day in the later afternoon.

A few plans for the rest of the week... to prepare my house for the weekend guest we'll have, to do my 2-week menu plan and grocery shop, to get the bills caught up, and to make a trip in to the hobby shop of a nearby town where the boys have been begging to go for weeks now (shhhh! Don't tell them--it's a surprise!)

Here is picture thought I am sharing...




Be sure to visit Peggy for links to more daybooks.

A Brave, New World

I'm thinking this morning about the new world my family and I are entering: the world of homeschooling. Specifically, I'm thinking about what it will take to stay focused on the goals we've set for our son, and on his learning.

It is an intimidating world of overachievers and, I sense at times, competition over what the children are learning and doing. It will require a LOT of prayer to refrain from joining in the craziness and to stay grounded in what's best for our family. Even if that seems mundane and ordinary to the outside world. Even if that means what we do isn't flashy or trendy (as far as the homeschool world goes).

There are tons of cool ideas for learning. It's easy to get caught up in the reading about all of the ideas. There are tons of cool activities for each and every subject. It's easy to get lost in the overdoing at the expense of relationship with Jesus and with each other.

I want simplicity. I want growth in my son's and my relationship with God and each other. I want to foster the love of learning. And I'm realizing more and more that what will help us with those goals is to be on our knees. Frequently throughout the day.

Prayer will be the essential foundation to our learning.

Celebrate my joys...

My eldest graduated from fifth grade this week. He is developing into quite the young man.

Grieve my losses/disappointments...

I grieve that I am weaning. Baby is ready. I'm not so much.
I grieve my eldest will not step foot into his little school anymore, having moved on to the next level.
I grieve a serious illness of a close family member.
I grieve a relationship.

attend to my lonliness...

I hate that I will live with lonliness as long as we live on this earth. I am surrounded by people, yet do not feel completely connected with anyone. That true intimacy is evasive, probably because we were made for Intimacy and all other ways we seek to fill that space fall short. But it sucks.

sit with my questions...

How can I REALLY love others better? How can I grow in my denial of self and unconditional love of others?

confess my sins/shortcomings...

My focus of late has been too much on me and my needs for affirmation and acceptance. I don't like it.