Sunday, June 28, 2009

I Want a Niche

1Thessalonians 4:11 "...and to aspire to live a tranquil life, to mind your own affairs, and to work with your [own] hands, as we instructed you."

That's fine and dandy and all, and what I know I should strive for. But there's a part of me, the prideful part, that wants my own niche that others know belong only to me--where others say, "That is Chris's thing." I want to be known for something.

With everything I think of that I might be known for, I think of someone else I know that is also known for that. I'm a runner, but so are many others I know. We raise chickens, but so do others I know. Dh makes wine, but so do others I know. We live our faith, but so do many others (thankfully) I know. On and on and bla bla bla.

I want, as this verse exhorts, to be able to know that I am fulfilling the duties God is giving me and faithfully living out to know Him, love Him, and serve Him and to be content in that. Only in that.

It is a lifelong battle to beat the prideful self into submission and back into the wings as it constantly tries to take the stage. It takes so much energy to keep my heart turned toward him and my eyes fixed on eternity when there is so much distraction nearby and immediate satisfaction to be obtained.

Yet I take hope in the fact that I really WANT to live for Him and only for Him. That is where my desire lies, no matter how often I need to reorient myself.

I love you, Lord. Help me to love you more.

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