25 random things about me...

I was tagged on facebook to write 25 random things about me. Thought I'd put it here, too, because my husband is not on facebook and there may be things here that he may be interested to learn.

1. I love to go fast on the ground--cars, snowmobiles, ATVs--anything motorized.

2. I took a motorcycle class at the tech but never got my license because at the time I didn't know anyone I could enjoy going riding with.

3. I would love to be a school bus driver some day.

4. I seriously considered becoming a semi-truck driver in college (sense a theme here with motorized things?). I was too shy to talk on the CB so I ditched that idea.

5. Speaking of shy, I'm not anymore. I used to be painfully shy and quiet, though!

6. I have been present with several people at the exact moment of their death. It is a very sacred moment.

7. I haven't met an alcohol I didn't like.

8. I grew up Lutheran and Christian Reformed, attended a non-denominational church for about 20 years, and converted to the catholic faith 3 years ago. I have never felt closer to God than I do now.

9. I love to climb trees.

10. I don't like flying and think I would absolutely hate spelunking. I can't really think of any other phobias except maybe mucous. And that's not really a phobia--it just involuntarily triggers my gag reflex. And in the 15 years of hospice work I've done, I've had many people show me what they have spit/coughed up thinking I was the nurse instead of the social worker.

11. I'm a nerd in a pretty body. I like math and arctic expedition novels and historical fiction and graphs. (Ok--any other nerds reading this--don't get mad. I AM stereotyping, but not in a way that intends mockery)

12. I can not think of a single person I've ever met that I did not find something to appreciate. And I've met a lot of people. They are so interesting and I love their stories. I find it especially interesting to listen to the stories they choose to tell. I guess that's the social worker in me.

13. I would love to take a kayaking/camping trip along the shore of Lake Superior in Upper Michigan.

14. I really really like to shoot guns--any size, shape. The louder the better. I like to shoot my bow, too.

15. I would like to run a marathon once in my life just to say I did it.

16. I often think I'm dull.

17. Ever since I can remember (age 8 maybe?) I've sought to grow closer to God. Except for about 2 years in college, I can honestly say I've done that my whole life and continue to do so. When I get to heaven, I so want to hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been a woman after my own heart."

18. I'm running out of things about me. See--I knew I was dull. Just thought of something--I wear name brand clothes, but most are purchased at Goodwill, Saver's, or rummage sales.

19. I pray this prayer every morning: "Lord, I do not know what will happen to me today. I only know that nothing will happen that was not foreseen by you and directed to my greater good for all eternity. I adore your holy and unfathomable plans and submit to them with all my heart out of my love for you. Amen." A hospice patient many years ago dying of ALS asked me to say this prayer for him on his deathbed. He had me repeat it over and over for about 20 minutes until he fell asleep. He died 2 days later. I still think of him.

20. I find life is constant submission to God and practice in self-denial. Especially motherhood. And it is sooooo worth it. There is freedom in God's will.

21. I'm an excellent speler (ha! How many of you caught that?) and can actually visualize in my brain how a word is spelled. I once lost a 6th grade spelling bee in Mr. Herman's class with the word aspirin. I spelled it a-s-p-r-i-n. I've spelled it right ever since.

22. I love journals--not so much journalling, but the journals themselves. There is so much potential for a pretty journal, or one with nice crisp lines, or one with an embroidered leather cover. I have lots of empty ones just waiting for the right thing to journal about.

23. On a dreary, down day, give me a closet or cupboard to clean out and reorganize and I'm rejuvenated and happy.

24. I've never let a cigarette touch my lips. But I occasionally have dreams that I smoke, that I can feel the smoke going into my lungs when I inhale, and that I enjoy it in the dream. Weird. I have puffed on a cigar around a campfire on occasion, though.

25. I don't care for chocolate and I really dislike malts and hot fudge.

She left Samuel there.

This sentence comes out of the first book of Samuel, chapter 1. Hannah prays to God for a baby and promises Him she would give the baby back to Him. After he was weaned (age 3? 4?), she brought Samuel to the temple of the Lord to fulfill her vow.

She. left. him. there.

As much as I say I know my boys belong to God, and not to me, I ask myself if I'm really all that good in living that out. Have I completely given them back to Him? How much do I unneccesarily hold on to?

Could I leave them there?

How can I hold on so tightly to someone who was never mine in the first place?

It's Not All About Numbers

So many numbers lately:

6 hours of labor
2 hours of contractions every 3 minutes
2 long pushes
5lb15oz, 19 1/2 inches long
10 fingers, 10 toes
5 minutes of a first feeding
8-12 feedings a day
4-6 wet diapers
4-6 poop diapers
eating every 2-3 hours
nearly 2 weeks old
over 80 diapers so far
5 mg a day of coumadin
1000 mg a day of calcium

BUT lots that cannot be quantified:

the warmth of a little body next to mine
the light sweep of tiny fingertips on my ribs
the gentle sucking
the little hiccups
the desperate rooting of a hungry baby
the goofy faces and sounds of REM sleep
my husband's features in miniature
the amazement of a life in my arms that didn't exist over 10 months ago
the smiles of big brothers as they hold the new addition
God's provision of all we need, and some things we don't

Broken for Others

My husband and I went to the Chrism Mass for our diocese on Tuesday this week. At this mass, the bishop blesses the Oils of the Sick and of the Catachumens, and consecrates the Sacred Chrism Oil. These oils are then taken back to the individual parishes in the diocese and used throughout the following year for the various sacraments. It was a beautiful, very reverent mass.

The Bishop's homily was about the Eucharist--the body and blood of Jesus. He talked about how Jesus' body was offered as a sacrifice, consecrated, and broken for us. As a people, when we take in the Eucharist at mass, we are united together as the Body of Christ--the Church. We offer ourselves, are consecrated through the Eucharist, and are meant to be broken for others. So we take the Eucharist into ourselves, and we become the Eucharist, in a sense, for others.

Today's gospel reading for Holy Thursday is the story of Jesus washing his disciples' feet at the Last Supper, and challenging them to serve others in the same way he served them.

And considering these two things, I ask myself.....am I serving others the way he did? All the way to the cross?

Do I allow myself to be "broken" for others? Especially for the dear, dear souls in my own household?

I have a long way to go.

Pity Party Ended

Today on Palm Sunday the Christian faith embarks upon Holy Week, the week where we remember the events leading up to the death and resurrection of Jesus.

I especially appreciate now as a Catholic the liturgies of this week that bring such contemplation and solemnity to the greatest sacrifice ever made.

Yesterday I was on call for work as a hospice social worker. It was a very busy day. I ended up putting in over nine hours--3 hours on one visit alone!! As a result, I missed the dedication mass of our refinished church and new narthex. I was extremely disappointed as this was a mass our whole parish community has been looking forward to since last fall.

So I went to mass with that chip on my shoulder this morning. On top of that, our priest seemed to have started a couple of minutes early and I ended up sitting in the very back--it was hard to hear and no one sings. I was very crabby. And I was grumbling in my prayers about how it wasn't fair and that my house was messy and (poor me, poor me, poor me)--blecchh.

On Palm Sunday in the Catholic liturgy, the whole passion of our Lord is read--from the Last Supper to his death on the cross. And as I meditated upon that, and then received our Lord in the Eucharist and thought of his sacrifice for us--for me.......well, let's just say God straightened out my heart.

Grant me more humility, Lord. Thank-you for your redirection.